How did I get here?

I have struggled with low self-esteem, awkwardness, anxiety & depression most of my life. It could be because every time I laugh out loud I piss myself or the fact that my vaginismus has prevented me from many romantic & sexual encounters. Or maybe it’s because I have hated the way my body looked from about 13 years of age, or because I always underestimate my capabilities and have always felt like an outsider.

For a long time, I knew something had to be done. Hating myself wasn’t good for me and it was getting in the way of me achieving great things. I was constantly complaining about headaches, backaches, sore stomach, etc. I went to the doctor numerous times for stiff and sore neck muscles and my arms even decided to stop working one day and I couldn’t move them never mind use them for normal daily tasks. Having your boyfriend unbutton your pants to go to the toilet or even wash your body because you can’t really does something to your ego.

So here I am, midst COVID-19 lockdown, deciding to finally get my life in order. I wanted to create this blog as an outlet for myself while I navigate this wonderfully uncomfortable journey of self-healing and self-love and I am 100% sure that I am not the only one who goes through this. I hope that someone who does go through this gets inspired by my openness and realises that they too can go on this journey.

I am on a mission to heal my vaginismus, my giggle incontinence, eat better foods for my body, find exercises that I can actually be bothered doing, heal my past trauma’s (wow, there’s a lot) and learn what it means to really love yourself and give my body the break that it needs.

If you’re reading this and can relate to anything I said, then this blog is for you. A safe space, where I will be showing my absolute raw & vulnerable self to the world, in hopes that it can inspire people to heal and be themselves too.

11 thoughts on “How did I get here?

  1. When I read the very first sentence of the post I was like omg this is me!! It is great that you are working towards bettering your situation. I myself am working on my issues but it’s two steps forward one backwards…we just have to keep going!!

  2. I’m so excited about this blog! You’re a super entertaining writer and I can tell you have a lot of great stories to share. Good luck with it all! My blog is only a few months older than yours but my life has already changed so much (for the better) since I started.

  3. Good for you to find a positive and creative outlet like blogging. I enjoyed your raw vulnerability of this post. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest. Well done!

  4. This was really inspiring to read – I’m glad you’re taking charge to feel better about yourself 🙂 Looking forward to seeing more from you and your blog! x

Leave a Reply