My boyfriend and I are in the process of immigrating to England from South Africa. It has been a long, complicated journey but we are (hopefully) nearing the end of it all. Since December 2019 I have been in England working and my boyfriend has been in Vietnam teaching English. I had to come here first for 6 months and get a job so that I can prove I can support him when they approve his visa (its a long story, I will make another post about that).
It definitely hasn’t been easy getting used to a long-distance relationship so I thought I would write down my tips on how we are getting through it:
1. Remember the goal
It’s important to remember why you are doing this and what the outcome will be. We are currently doing the long-distance because it will allow us to live together in England. Some people do it for financial reasons. There are many reasons and I find I get through the loneliness by reminding myself why we are doing this and try to see the bigger picture.
2. Know it is not forever
For my boyfriend and I, we keep reminding ourselves that we will be together again. I like to count down the days, so I bought a calendar and I cross off every day as it passes and I tell myself that I am one day closer to seeing him again. For those of you who don’t know when you will see each other again, every day that passes is still a day closer too. There will be a time where you are together again.
3. Keep the communication lines open
Communication is vital for any relationship to function but even more so in a long-distance relationship. Be open and honest with one another. Tell each other how you are feeling and listen when your partner shares things with you. Miscommunication will happen over messages as we can’t sense body language or tone of voice so make sure you are being as clear as possible. Voice notes are sometimes a good alternative.
4. Make time for each other
We can get so caught up in our new routines and days that we absolutely need to prioritise time to speak to our significant other. Setting some time to call one another is super important. It shouldn’t feel like a chore but especially when there is a huge time difference, having a schedule could really work.
5. Find a hobby to pass the time
Distraction can be the best thing sometimes. It takes your mind off things and it makes the time go by. My new hobby is blogging. It helps keep my mind busy. You might also find something that you really enjoy that you didn’t know about before.
6. Be patient with yours & your partners emotions
Your emotions can go a bit haywire when you go from seeing someone every day to only having a relationship over a device. You have to get used a new way of talking to each other and sharing things with each other. It can get a bit messy. If you don’t respond to your partner for a long period of time they could get a bit insecure, the same for you if they don’t respond. Understand that these are not bad things, you might just need to reassure each other from time to time.
So there you go, these 6 points have definitely helped me get through these months without my boyfriend. It has been a bit bumpy but it has also made us stronger than ever and I can’t wait for us to get back to normal!
If you have any other tips, please do let me know, I love hearing from you.